i woke up feeling tired. not in the press snooze for an hour kind of way. no. i had this realization some time in between dreams that i have allowed my mind to become terribly out of shape, exhausted, lazy. maybe its because i am fast approaching thrity. this milestone is forcing me to reevaluate and reflect. today’s epiphany is that i have lost what it means to feel passionate. sure, i weep genuine tears when the meth addict on intervention agrees to accept treatment. my heart fills with inexplicable double rainbows when i scroll through images of furry puppies and sleeping kittens. but these are visceral emotions. i need to rebuild that place in myself where i used to hoard the many possibilities i forsaw for myself and the energy to execute however unfocused and haphazard it was. i want to be able to tell someone definitely these are the things i love, these are the things i hate, these are the things i am giving myself the opportunity to explore. i guess i will start here.
this is a short film i co-wrote and directed with my friend sean. another mutual friend, jon d, composed the music for it. this project was for a competition you tube was sponsoring for director, jason reitman. the guidelines were that we include a few key phrases of dialogue like “what is the meaning of these shenanigans!”. Also, we had to include a scene where a photograph was passed between two characters. needless to say, we did not win the competition. but i had a lot of fun working on this with a bunch of our mutual friends!